It's now or never - We're on the property market!

No, your eyes do not deceive you. We’ve taken the plunge, we’ve gone for broke, we’ve jumped in the deep end! Ok, I’ll stop now . . . Our house is on the market!

It occurred to us one night last week, with the way that the property market in the UK works, either we go for the big move now or we’ll have to wait until after Christmas. We thought we’d book a meeting with our preferred estate agent and see what his thoughts were.

Saturday morning the estate agent popped over and joined us for our traditional Saturday morning breakfast – pancakes, bacon and syrup! Nothing like a bit of blackmail to get a good deal, ay?! The agent confirmed our thoughts, explaining that the housing market wouldn’t pick up until Spring 2019 if we didn’t go for it now in Autumn. Our dream is to spend Easter weekend 2019 in our dressing gowns, stuffing our faces full of chocolate in our new house, our new life. Spring 2019 is just too late to get the ball rolling.

It’s now or never!

We signed the dotted line, getting a great deal by the way! We’ve also booked our next trip to Devon property viewing next month, and have got four properties booked in. Obviously this is massively changeable depending on what happens with those properties between now and then, but at least it’s a start. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

(Hmmm how many more idioms can I fit into this blog post?!)

So, how do we feel?

When I think about leaving my loving, supportive and hilarious family, I’m filled with such strong sadness that I’ve told Matt he’s going to have to tear me away. When I think of the strong friendships I’ve made since becoming a mum, such understanding and open friendships that I hadn’t experience before motherhood, I question why I would leave them.

But then I imagine setting up my own home, something I’ve never done before, building my own business, growing our own vegetables, home schooling Miri, having more animals, being surrounded by countryside and having a very content husband. I picture Miri running around in the garden in wellies, with Daisy Dog in tow, watering plants and playing in a mud kitchen. I picture teaching Miri how to cook, snuggling up to watch films on rainy days and Christmas! Is there anything more perfect than Christmas in the English countryside? How can I not go? We’re looking for a property big enough for friends and family to come and stay whenever they can, and I’m confident that they will. In fact, at the weekend my mum joked about coming down for a couple of days each week so that she can still have Miri one day a week. When Matt and I agreed, saying absolutely, I think she was quite taken aback – in a positive way!

I’ll let Matt answer how he’s feeling in the comments below, so make sure you check that out.

We’ll be raising a glass of something bubbly tonight.

Here’s to starting our Wildventure!

Cheers!

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Summer of Love

At the end of Spring this year, we had decided on our Wildventure and announced it to the world. Over July and August we decided to take a break from all the dreaming, researching and planning so that we could enjoy our many summer plans.

And what a summer it’s been! As well as lots of birthday celebrations (See some of them here) and days out in nature, we’ve had holidays in Devon, Shaftsbury, Cornwall and Center Parcs. We’ve enjoyed so much family time together that we really are all dreading being separated again by school, work and childcare. 

Family snap in my favourite place 

In fact, the intended break from the Wildventure didn’t work at all. It transpires that the Wildventure has already happened!  There’s been a deep shift of views and passions since that original conversation (which you can read about here), and you can’t just switch that off.

We are already living much more in touch with nature, having spent the majority of our days outside and shoeless where possible. We are already parenting like ‘unschoolers’ and ‘respectful parents’, giving our daughters space to make their own choices and run free. We are more confident in who we are and how we live, knowing that we are living intentionally, living our true selves and living our dreams. We are much more focused on getting the move to happen, planning weekends to Devon and thinking about possible methods of income when we get there.   

Most importantly, we are happier.

Sisters

Going back to normal routine of work for us and childcare for Miri really does feel like a step backwards after spending the summer living our truth. However, in order to get where we’re going, we need to work to save the money. Every time I have a moment of ‘Fuck it, let’s just give up everything and run away now!’ Matt reminds me that we’re not running away or taking a break from real life, we want to revolutionise our life and that takes time, planning and money.

Autumn brings the beginning of my yoga teacher training and a new job, which is term time only allowing me quality time with Miri every 6 weeks. We’re also hoping to get down to Devon to look at some properties and possibly put our house on the market. Eeek! Exciting times are coming.

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Waving goodbye to my Twenties

Today is the last day of my twenties, and as my step daughter will tell you and much to her amusement, my moto this year has been “Fuck it, I’m in the last year of my twenties.” This moto has led me to trying new things, eating the extra bit of cake, wearing the crazy clothes and eventually to my ’30 ways to celebrate being 30’ activities (blog post about this follow).

Today I am feeling emotional, which is presenting itself in my mood and physically, but I want to promise myself to continue with my ‘fuck it’ attitude. It has released me from many of my anxieties and stress triggers. One example of this, is the letting go of the need for a perfectly clean and tidy house at all times. I used to religiously deep clean the house once a week, and tidy and hoover every evening whilst Matt was bathing Miri. I’d also tidy up the whole house before we went out. Nowadays, if you randomly pop in (I’ll still tidy and clean if we have guests – I’m not that radical!), you’ll find toys about the place, washing in the baskets and dog hair in the corners; however, you’ll also find our family having fun together, watching films or out and about with Daisy Dog. At bath-time you’ll find me chatting away with Matt and Miri in the bathroom. There is a much more relaxed attitude to life in our house and its just lovely.

Rather than feel upset about leaving my twenties and focus on it being the end of an era, I want to practice gratitude and say thanks to my twenties. I achieved and enjoyed so much and so to be mindful of this, I have taken the time to list the things I am thanking my twenties for (in date-ish order, not order of importance):

·         My degree – BA (HONS) Psychology 2:1

·         Moving out of home

·         Bringing Cassie Cat home as a 6 week old kitten (He’s now 9!)

·         My first full time job – teaching assistant

·         The first yoga class I went to

·         Discovering the Mooncup

·         My nose piercing 

Enjoying myself in O'Neils 

          ·         The first rung on the property ladder – my flat

·         My friends (trips to The Edge, failed trips to the beach, Friday nights at the local pub)

·         My PGCE (Teaching qualification)

·         My first teaching job

·         The decision to leave my first teaching job

·         Ex-boyfriends, who taught me what I don’t want in a partner and what love isn’t

·         Friends picking me up and putting me back together after break ups

·         Working in nurseries with fantastically gorgeous and inquisitive toddlers and pre-schoolers

·         All my work colleagues who then become friends

·         Our holiday of a lifetime – two weeks in Florida (Disney, Discovery Cove, my first rollercoaster at Sea World, Universal studios, and so much more)

Our Christmas presents in 2013 - a trip to Florida!

·         Discovering and researching Veganism

·         The emotional breakdown I had when turning 25

·         Falling in love with Matt instantly

·         Being proposed to on Croyde Beach and saying yes (after taking a photo of Matt on one knee)

·         Seeing a personal trainer

·         Marrying my soulmate

·         Gaining a step-daughter, the gorgeous Abi

·         The most incredible Honeymoon travelling round Italy (Rome, Florence, Venice and Lake Garda)

Drinking red wine and cocktails in Florence 

·         Seeing my Hubby jump out of a plane on his 40^th

·         Falling pregnant (and particularly the first scan when I saw Miri for the first time and instantly became a mom)

·         A life changing, painful and ever lasting birth experience

·         My daughter Miri-May

·         The decision to leave teaching in the past

·         Post-Natal depression

·         CBT and other counselling sessions

·         Becoming an Auntie for the first time

·         Staring up and running a successful business

·         Bringing Daisy Dog into our family and seeing Miri and Daisy’s friendship blossom

·         Finally getting a diagnosis (coeliac disease) and consequently feeling the most well I’ve ever felt

·         Embarking on a Wildventure with my darling husband

Wow! What a ten years! Here’s to the next!

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Marriage: Why my husband and I are destined to last a lifetime

This weekend my husband and I had a quite the blow up, which resulted in him walking out and me saying those dreaded words: “Why don’t we just break up?!”

Looking back, I now understand the reasons it went that far, with me being pre-menstrual and him having a cold and being exhausted. A tiny bicker, which would normally have been laughed off by one of us, snowballed into shouting, slamming doors and him walking out. We were both living the argument in highly emotive states, governed by our hormones and bodily conditions. It’s not unusual for Matt and I to buck heads; we are both Leos with big personalities who like to be right and to win! However, we normally release this energy healthy ways, such as political debates and card games (with my being the long-term reigning champion of Shithead by the way!), walking out and declaring a break up are not normal occurrences and it unnerved us both.

Us in our fave spot 

Here’s the thing though, reflecting on the weekend has made me feel more secure and more determined than ever that we are destined to last a lifetime. After Matt walked out, I rang him. Then he rang me. Then I rang him. Then he rang me and left a voicemail. Then he came home again. 20 minutes and four calls later, Matt was back home. Obviously, we didn’t just slip back into normal life right away, but for the sake of our toddler we spent the rest of the day as a family and just got on with it. Reading this situation fills me with such joy and is almost laughable. Once our emotional states were calming and we had taken a breather from each other, we realised that this wasn’t what either of us wanted at all. The amount of phone calls itself tell us that we never really wanted to be apart or stop communicating. We let our emotions override our connection in the moment, but we were both determined to reconnect and be back to normal.

Honeymoon <3

This pure determination that Matt and I both have to make our relationship work is the reason that it will work, and it will work forever. We both want our marriage to succeed, we want to love each other fully, we want to show each other how much we care, we want to make each other happy, we want to forgive instantly, we want to support each other, we want to have fun, we both want this more than anything. There is nothing but unconditional love and determination in our hearts, and that fiery Leo drive that can escalate arguments can also be translated as unbreakable passion. We are connected by our love, passion and drive for our marriage and our family. And now our Wildventure is taking this to another level. 

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me . . . everyday.” The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks.

Yes, there may be tense moments, but these fleeting moments have nothing on our true and raw  connection.

With my husband’s birthday coming up on Saturday, I’d like to end this post by saying:

“Happy birthday to my daring gorgeous husband, let’s go Yurt it up! Woop Woop!”

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Our first trip to Devon

This weekend felt like a huge milestone in our Wildventure – Our first trip down to Devon since making our decision. If you haven’t read about our big decision, click here. 

Before I tell you how amazing our weekend was, I must admit something, promise not to judge. On Thursday evening, I got cold feet. I phoned my dad while Matt was packing the car, sobbing and filled with nerves: “I can’t go! I can’t move to Devon!” I got caught up in one of my usual anxiety filled ‘what if’ thinking patterns. . .  What if I don’t like Devon? What if I ruin Matt’s dream? What if Matt doesn’t like it? Eventually my dad convinced me to just go and see; no ties, no big decisions, just a family camping trip to Devon.

Our first family camping trip

 I’m so pleased to report, Devon was everything we were hoping it would be! It’s not just the long views of green and yellow fields or the clear view of the stars at night, it’s the slower pace of life, the winding country roads and the pit stops for homemade local goodies advertised on people’s gardens. We were camping at a family member’s farm, and what struck Matt most was how quiet it was. The sound of the birds, nearby lambs and streams was just gorgeous, especially without the background noise of a duel carriageway or a passing army chinook that we often get here. 

Somehow, I hadn’t quite appreciated how much family we have in Devon. As well as Matt’s cousin who we were staying with, Matt also has an Auntie and Uncle and two other cousins and their families living down there. We spent a lot of time with them this weekend, and we just felt so at home and welcome. We absolutely would not be on our own, our Devon family’s doors would always be open for us and already are, with offers of places to stay whilst house hunting. (Blog post about how fantastic our camping weekend with family was to follow.)

This weekend has cemented that moving to Devon is definitely the right decision for our family and we can’t wait. In fact, we even viewed one property whilst we were down there.

Checking out the local estate agents

The house we viewed was an old farm workers cottage in the middle of the countryside, the closest shop was 25 minutes away! Although the house itself filled us with joy, with us whispering to each other “We can actually afford a house like this?!”, the land that came with the property was just a bit too small and oddly configured. Due to the nature of a farm cottage, you would have to get on very well with the residents of the four other cottages, and we just felt that was too much of a risk for such a big move.

The farm cottage we viewed was gorgeous 

We now know that although we still want to move to the countryside, we’d like to be in a village or have a village or town close by, rather than be completely rural and remote. We also now know that due to Matt needing to travel back to Winchester regularly to collect Abi, we need to be living in East or South Devon for ease of access to the M5.

Our Wildventure is certainly still on, no more cold feet, and we have a more clear idea of what we are looking for. What a brilliant start to our journey!

Do you live in the countryside? If so, what are the positive and negatives that stand out to you? Let me know in the comments below.  

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Three steps to living a more natural life

“You and Me baby ain’t nothing but mammals”

Thanks for the reminder Bloodhound Gang! It's 2018, and we've forgotten who we are. At a time where, here in the Western world, we have the privilege of warm safe homes, fantastic employment opportunities, endless clothes, food and coffee shops, and technology galore, we've lost our roots. Children and Teenagers of the modern technological age have lost touch with nature, with their bodies, with their gut instinct, with their spirituality. Life in the fast lane has plucked us out of our natural habitat and plonked us in front of screens, advertising and selling, all telling us who we should be.

And this picture of who we should be is taken as the measure of success: We should have a semi-detached house with a garage, two cars, 2.5 children and a dog. A TV in every room, a mobile phone and laptop for each family member, including the dog. Designer clothes, sunglasses and handbags. Both parents with high profile jobs but who also share the parenting and household chores. A disposable income that allows for a holiday abroad every year and for both kids to go off to university. This image of a successful life is sold to us everywhere we look from birth and subconsciously it seeps in until we are striving for this perfect life. We want to keep up with our friends, we want to have the Facebook posts that make our friends jealous. My husband and I have certainly had times in our marriage where we've looked at other couples and thought "We should have that" or "We should be doing that." We’ve become frustrated with this feeling that our home, our marriage and our family life should look a certain way. The pressure of keeping up with the Jones' has become too much.

What if we step back from this life that's being sold to us and think about who we really are? That's exactly what I've been drawn to do since becoming a mum. The more I ponder, read and research, the more it becomes obvious, and in the words of Bloodhound Gang, we ain't nothing but mammals!

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt” Margaret Atwood, Bluebeard’s Egg.

Just as other mammals, my natural environment is outside - I find a sense of calm and balance when at the beach or walking through the woods. I love feeling my bare feet on the ground and gloriously warm sunshine on my face, I love running my hands through sand or up and down tree trunks - Yes, I hug trees! I love listening to waves crashing, the wind rustling through the trees and birds singing. I love smelling earthy mud, freshly cut grass and honeysuckle. I love to see how alive each member of my family become when outside, and how peaceful they are after a day spent exploring our natural environment. In my ten years of working with children, I notice how being outside makes children less tense, less anxious and more joyous. I want my daughter to grow up at one with the outdoors; I want to become one with the outdoors.

Miri loves the beach

“I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.” Barry Humphries.

Just as other mammals, my natural body is hairy. I have arm pit hair, pubic hair, leg hair, toe hair . . . I even have three little hairs growing out of my chin mole! The hair on our bodies is there for a reason, it has protective and cleansing properties.  Women, and men, feel that in order to be socially accepted, they have to shave, wax and pluck until their bodies are totally bald and smooth. Our bodies were not designed to be bald! We are being sold an image of a perfect hairless body because it keeps us buying beauty products. We live in a consumer-based society, which makes us feel bad about our natural normal bodies to make us consume, to spend money! Let me tell you something, its completely normal to have hair around your genitals! It’s completely normal to have hair under your arms! Let's talk about shampoo, a product most of us use every day. Do other mammals continuously use a chemical rich product on their hair to keep it healthy? No! We have been sold the idea that our hair needs to be cleaned with chemicals everyday by the beauty industry. I have been a lifelong daily shampoo-er. But this journey I'm on to live a more natural life has led me to the no-poo movement. Our bodies are designed to clean themselves and are perfectly equipped to do so. I trust my body’s natural process. I want my daughter to be completely comfortable with her body in its natural normal state; I want to be comfortable with my body in its natural normal state.

“Your body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in.” B.K.S Iyengar.

Just as other mammals, my body needs vitamins and minerals from the Earth to be healthy. Our bodies are designed to eat natural foods from the Earth. For around 9 years I've been drawn to eating as naturally as possible, which to me means fruit, vegetables and meat in their most natural forms. Any kind of processed, preservative & sugar laden food, although highly advertised and readily available, are not good for our bodies, souls or minds. Mammals in the natural world do not eat food made in a factory, they eat what the Earth gives them seasonally. I am addicted to chocolate, and although I made the switch from sugary milk chocolate to dark chocolate, I still eat it every day! I give my daughter processed foods, which are quick and easy for me to have ready for her, and I feel incredibly guilty about it. Before having children, on seeing premade baby and toddler snacks I'd turn my nose up and say "Why don't you just give your child a piece of fruit?!" Maybe it's not as simple as that, but maybe it is! We've already started eating and feeding our daughter more intentionally and, thank goodness, she absolutely loves nature's candy - fruit! I want my daughter to have a passion for real whole foods; I want to have a passion for real whole foods.

When I turned 21 9 years ago (9 years, how did that happen?!), a couple of seeds were planted when I started yoga. Little awakenings which led me to making non-toxic household cleaner, using a menstrual cup for the first time and experimenting with going vegan; I even started a blog about it which is probably still out there lurking in the depths of the internet. Over the years, those seeds turned to seedlings, but having to battle against the norm, the influence of social media and life's up and downs, they stayed deep down beneath the surface. Now, in the year I turn 30 and having been through the wild experience of becoming a mum, I am ready for my seedlings to blossom into fantastically vibrant blooms. I am ready to fully embrace my natural instinct and calling to reconnect with nature and live in a more natural way.

Do you live closely with the natural world? Do you make your own beauty products or grow your own veggies? If so, I’d love to hear from you.

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My coeliac diagnosis story

“And I’ll rise up, I’ll rise like the day.”

As it’s the end of Coeliac Awareness week 2018, I thought I’d share my diagnosis story. It starts back in 2005 when I was 17. I went to the doctor as every evening I would have a bloated and hard tummy and lots of wind. The bloating was so bad that trousers that normally fit me would need to be undone. I was diagnosed with IBS caused by anxiety and stress. I was offered one counselling session for the anxiety by the GP’s recommended counsellor, where we discussed many aspects of my life on a general level. I was offered no advice or treatment for the IBS. At this time in my life, I would be eating toast for breakfast, cookies in the college café, shop bought sandwiches for lunch and, at least once a week, take away pizza for dinner. My diet wasn’t discussed at the GP appointment.

17 years old with a bloated tummy

Fast forward to 2012, which is the next period that I remember my physical health affecting my day to day life. I was teaching in my first reception class after 4 years of university. The school was headed by an ex OFSTED inspector and was run like a military operation; I hated it and was very stressed and absolutely exhausted. I remember wondering how the other teachers were getting through each day without yawning all afternoon and brain fog causing them to forget important events or conversations. It would be no surprise to you to read that an undiagnosed autoimmune disease and an extremely highly pressured career do not go hand in hand, and I didn’t complete the school year.

After leaving my teaching job I began working as the deputy manager of a day nursery, and it was around this time that I had my first realisation that I needed to exercise and eat healthily! I started going to the gym and making soups to take to work for lunch. I researched how to put a healthy soup together and pearl barley kept coming up, so in it went. Every afternoon by 2pm, I looked around 6 months pregnant and I’d have to undo my trousers under my nursery uniform. I went back to the doctor about this and again it was put down to IBS caused by the stress of my job. I began to do yoga as soon as I got home from work every day to help with the stress, which (without going in to too much detail) would release the wind in my tummy. The yoga working to release symptoms reinforced the wrong diagnosis of IBS.

From 2013 to 2015, I went vegan. I didn’t mean to! I innocently picked up a diet booked called ‘Skinny Bitch’ and thought ‘That sounds like my kind of diet book!’ It wasn’t until half way through that I realised I was going vegan, however everything I had read in the book made sense and resonated with me, so I went for it. Looking back, this was the healthiest I had ever felt. I had energy and I didn’t feel bloated. By completely changing my diet to a plant-based diet, I had inadvertently cut down massively on the amount of gluten I was eating.

Eating pizza in Rome

In April 2015 my new husband and I honeymooned in Italy. We stayed in hotels in Rome, Florence, Venice and Lake Garda. Each morning began with the hotel buffet breakfast of cereals, croissants, toast, cheese and ham. My body wasn’t used to this, as since starting my vegan journey I religiously had a smoothie for breakfast every morning. Obviously, the rest of the day was spent eating pasta, pizza and tiramisu. Although our honeymoon was absolutely incredible (romantic and delicious!), I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t make it through the day without an afternoon nap. My husband wanted to continue exploring but everyday after lunch my energy levels dramatically dropped, and I just couldn’t continue until I’d had some shut eye. My husband was very patient with me, even though at the time we had no idea why I couldn’t make it through the day!

My sister and I pregnant at the same time. Where are my eyes?!

August 2015 brought the fantastic news that I was pregnant! What started of as an intention to have a vegan yoga-filled natural pregnancy and birth, ended with me craving anything with carbs or sugar, particularly mars bar milkshakes and bacon! By 40 weeks pregnant, after eating gluten in most meals, I was so swollen all over my body I could hardly move. My eyes were tiny little slits and my ankles and feet were balloons. My labour lasted 32 hours and my daughter was born two pounds lighter than was expected. Since diagnosis, I have found out that women with undiagnosed coeliac are more likely to have low birth weight babies. With the amount of blood tests, midwife/doctor appointments and hospital stays I had during and just after pregnancy, I feel very let down that the disease wasn’t picked up at this point.

After Miri was born, the swelling hung around for months and months. I cannot find the words to describe the physical and emotional exhaustion that I felt. Yes, I was tired from a long labour. Yes, I was tired from the throws of the fourth trimester. However, no matter how much I slept, I was running on empty. I could have a full nights sleep, with my husband doing the night feeds and the early morning feed, and I’d still be so exhausted that I couldn’t function. I couldn’t string sentences together, I forgot words, I couldn’t manage my time, I couldn’t remember things, and the main effect of my exhaustion was the emotional turmoil. As I was already running on empty, already only just coping, if I felt something had gone wrong I would hysterically cry. And once the tap was turned on, there was no turning it off; Until I had slept it off, I was crying! When Miri was 6 months old, I was diagnosed with post-natal depression, with a treatment of a gym subscription and cognitive behavioural therapy. Both of these activities helped me immensely, however I had started making a list of other physical oddities that I had started to notice: bumps on my hands, mouth sores, gas that would clear a room, joint pain in my knuckles and elbows, itchy flaky skin on my legs, and the ever-present anxiety and bloated tummy.

I took this list to my new GP in July 2017 and she sent me for a blood test, not telling me what I was being tested for. I received a phone a call with the news that the blood test had shown positive for the antibody that suggests coeliac disease, but I had to continue eating gluten until after an endoscopy. During the wait for the endoscopy, I spent every evening researching coeliac disease and I was convinced that I had it and that I’d had it for years. In November 2017, rather predictably by this point, the endoscopy showed flattened villi and confirmed that I am a coeliac.

Happy since diagnosis

Since diagnosis and giving up gluten, I can make it through the day without a nap and stay up past 10pm! I don’t crawl to the end of the day, in fact I am often surprised when my husband walks through the door at the end of day. I have started a new job at our local council, and my work life balance is working very well. One of the greatest changes is in my mental health. Although I am still an anxious person, I am no longer depressed and no longer let anxiety fill my brain. I am much clearer headed and rational and I’m now able to live intentionally, following my dreams and finding out who I truly am. I am so grateful for my diagnosis.

Are there similarities in your coeliac diagnosis or symptoms? If so, I’d love to hear from you.

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